


You're somebody else

by LaurelinTengel



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Blood, Non-Consensual Touching, Sad, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26389660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaurelinTengel/pseuds/LaurelinTengel
Summary: Felix meets up with a friend from back home and somehow ends up a different person at the end of the day. Because how well do you really know someone? And is it truly worth trusting anyone?The pairings are pretty platonic and there for comfort purposes.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53





	You're somebody else

**Author's Note:**

> I'm making my favorite suffer so I can express my feelings, what else is new. Its an unedited and un-betad mess. There are warnings all over the tags so you know where this is headed (sexual assault happens but no rape).  
> Be warned!  
> Also everyone takes turns crying here.  
> Take care of yourselves!

‘’’

His hands were shaking so bad he couldn't get the key into the door. He kept scrambling for the handle and it didn’t open, it just didn’t open properly. He was so focus’t but his hands would not obey him. 

He saw his own hands and they had cracks in his skin all over his knuckles. There was blood on them. Just a little here and there and everywhere. Something hollow echoed in his head and the door was suddenly pulled open and there stood Seungmin with a disgruntled expression that turned into a concerned one in a heartbeat. 

“What’s wrong?” he stepped closer to get the other inside but Felix flinched big time and kinda stepped around him to get inside. “Hey, what’s going on you look like you dived into a dumpster and took a swim and….. is that blood! What the fuck Lix….Wait up?!” Felix was trying to walk fast to the bathroom and before he could close the door Seungmin caught up with him and grabbed a hold of his arm. 

The other spun around and violently shook him off. “Its nothing. Please leave me alone….Just…. Just piss off.” Seungmin stood there shocked he had never heard the other raise his voice before or swear at him for that matter. He stepped into the bathroom before Felix could close the door and sat down on the floor in-front of him. 

“I’m not leaving. I’m just gonna sit here til you calm down and talk to me. Just please, can you talk to me? I don’t know what happened but I’m scared right now. You scaring me.” and that’s when Felix crumbled to the floor too with his hands going in-front of his face, hiding away. His shoulders started to shake with loud sobs. 

Seungmin reached out his hands to pull the other in but hesitated asking: “Can I hug you, please?” Felix just nodded through his sobs. And Seungmin leaned in and pulled Lix into his arms. Holding him just tight enough. He ran his hand down the others back in soothing circles and started to slightly rock them both back and forth like his mother did to him when he was sick as a child. 

After the longest of moments the shaking stilled and they just rocked back and forth steadily in quiet, on the bathroom floor with only their breathing echoing in the small room. 

‘’’

Seungmin lifted himself off the other reaching out to wipe the tears off his smudged and puffy face. “Can you talk? Do you need a glass of water?” Lix looked dazed but nodded. Seungmin got up and took his toothbrush cup and cleaned it out to put some cold water in it. 

He handed the other the cup guiding it to his lips. Felix drank hesitantly and then altogether. Like he forgot how thirsty he was. He just sat there holding the cup in his two hands. His hands that had small cuts on them and looked dirty. 

Seungmin reached for the others hands and pulled him up to go to the sink and Felix just moved along and Seungmin washed his hands. Then he sat him down again and refilled the cup with water giving it to him. 

Felix drank all of it, slower this time. Seungmin sat down again and just looked at how upset the other was. This was scary, he thought “Can you tell me what happened? You were supposed to come home hours ago and the others went out to look for you. They split up going to the company and your favorite restaurant and gaming place. Chan was really worried he kept insisting that you may have gotten lost or could have gotten into an accident for some reason so we should do something right away because you didn’t answer our texts or calls.”

The other sniffled: “I’m sorry I didn’t know how far I ran. I didn’t know the neighborhood and my phone it cracked. It wouldn't turn back on. I was trying to find some main street that would lead me back but I kept winding up in random residential places.” he was breathing hard again and talking way too fast through all of that. 

“Can you start from the beginning please? You went out to meet your friend didn’t you? And then you got lost? Why did you run?” that was too many questions but Seungmin just didn’t understand what was going on and he was slightly panicked himself because his friend seem to be so upset. He never seen him so panicked and acting all different then he ever did before. 

“I was…I went…I mean we were supposed to. I mean I was supposed to meet up with my classmate from home and I… We did meet up. There was this karaoke place and he was there with two of his friends I never seen before and they were all drinking because his friends were older. They had like already been drinking I think. And that’s fine I mean the law is different were we from and stuff and no one really cares.”

Seungmin just looked at him, was this about just underage drinking, why panic so hard about that?…“So you had a drink too? That’s not a big deal, I think everyone of the members had had some beers or something.” 

He remembered that he should have texted the others as soon as Felix’s showed up so he got his phone from his pocked and opened the group chat throwing a quick “he is here” on it. As soon as he did the reply’s kept coming in but he put his phone down.

“Ok, so you had a drink. What happened then that you ended up lost?” Felix was just staring at his hands in his lap, spaced out. 

Seungmin put a hand on the others and Lix looked up a bit confused: “I just had one drink, I was not drunk of anything. I just sat there and they kept talking real loudly about going clubbing and how there were so many pretty girls here….And it was getting a little uncomfortable. So I tried talking about back home and stuff we use to do and gaming. But then my…my mate he started pointing out that…He thought I was just as pretty…as them girls.”

Seungmin frowned, did they bully him because his looks, really what kind of friends are they - disgusting. He just squeezed Felix’s hand encouraged him to go on. 

“They… they said that I would look good in a dress. And kept asking me if I tried doing that too with all the make-up and shit they put on idols….They kept laughing it off and saying their just kidding and stuff. Well I didn’t like it there anymore so I was saying that I should get back and you all waiting for me….but…well…I don’t know how but they said they just let me go if I do one shot with them otherwise it be rude and well I just really wanted to get out of there so i took the shot they gave me.” 

“Ok, and then..? You left?” Seungmin inquired. Felix just looked around on the floor like he lost something and was trying to find it. “Lix, tell me, you left after the shot didn’t you?” 

“I was trying to leave….I was getting up and I was trying to go but one of them grabbed my ass and they all laughed when I jumped and made a noise.” he was shaking his head like trying to dislodge the memory. 

“It wasn’t like friendly pat on the ass or anything he like grabbed it full on….And i was really ….I well didn’t know why but i felt a little dizzy from getting up so fast after the shot and stuff.” 

Seungmin was breathing hard, he couldn’t believe those fuckers went that far, that’s just fucked up, what even. He looked at Lix and the other was crying, silent tears this time, ones that just slide down his cheeks. 

“I was leaving but i stumbled and they said I’m too drunk and they should bring me to their hotel so I could sleep it off or something.”

He took a deep breath, continuing on in a hurry and stutter pattern he didn’t seem to realize he was doing. 

“And I said no and I said I’m going now but they kept a hold on me and kinda dragged me out into the ally behind the karaoke place…..I don’t know how we made it out there so fast, with no one seeing or anything….”

He hiccuped and wiped at his face: “My classmate, he kept laughing and saying what a great time we would have and i was really scared…I didn’t understand why they didn’t just let me leave.” Seungmin held both his hands now, real hard.

“And then the one guy he pressed me against the wall… it was next to the dumpsters and it smelled there…I was trying to push him off but he… he …he shoved his hand into my pants. And he told the others… you lost the bet he is a boy after all…..I wanted to puke and i gagged….And….”

He was starting to hyperventilate again and Seungmin was just realizing he was in tears too. He pulled Lix back into his arms and he rocked them both harder then before like that could magically fix this. 

Lix wiggled away sooner this time and just seem to be trying real hard to breath, like he was making himself breath. 

“I puked on the guy and he pushed me to the ground, I hurt my hands I think and I was trying to get up again when one of them grabbed me from behind and tried to… pulled down my pants.”

How was this getting worse, this seemed why too much and way out of his league of helping or doing something. Seungmin just sat there staring at the other who seem to just want to force the story out no matter what.

“I didn’t see who of them but someone was ….Was touching me all over and pressing down….Then he got up to open his own pants…..I heard him fumble with it…”

Oh no….Nah this was so not real: thought Seungmin as he closed his eyes like that would somehow change reality. 

“I just kicked out…I kept kicking until I hit something and then I finally got my feet to work and I got up but the classmate he was trying to grab me again and I punched him…like hard. Like he fell over and didn’t move.”

There was a quiver in his voice and it shook: “I pulled my pants up while they stared at him on the ground and I ran….I just ran like hell….I didn’t even close my pants properly until I was five streets over. I only paused for a second and then kept running after that just blindly….”

He let out a huge breath. Wiping at his face again: “ I didn’t see anything around me and when I couldn’t breath anymore I kinda fell and that’s why my knee is bloody… I think.”

Seungmin was just looking at him, his friend sitting there looking like he was concentrating on telling him about falling over or something. He looked like he was just telling a normal story, for a moment, it all seemed kinda surrealistic and out of focus. 

“I tried to call you guy’s but my phone its so smashed up, I don’t know when or how but it just won’t work. And I had to just look at the signs and stuff. It took me forever because I ran so far…I don’t know how long I ran.”

‘’’

Seungmin felt a little floaty while his friend looked at him expectantly, like he would suddenly know how to fix it all. He shook his head. Right he was supposed to do something, help somehow.

“How about you get a shower and I’m gonna bring you some clothes and then we can look at your hands and your knee? Would that be ok?” he felt that his voice wasn’t the steadiest and Felix looked at his face like he was sad for upsetting him or something because he reached out and wiped Seungmin’s face clean from tears. 

Then he got up and said: “Yea I think I‘ll take a shower now.” he was just starting to take his clothes off and Seungmin kinda scrambled to get up and out of the bathroom. 

As he did he heard the door to the apartment opening loudly and voices filtering in and Chan appeared in the living room looking a bit angry maybe but mostly worried.

“Where is he? Is he ok?” he asked as soon as he saw Seungmin standing in the hall just looking at him. 

And as Chan came to stand in-front of the other, Seungmin just broke into tears. Full on loud crying like when he was a child and couldn't find his mother anywhere and thought he never see her again. 

Chan looked kinda shocked and put his arms on Seungmin’s shoulders and asked: “Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“I can’t…They…He…They assaulted him. He…just he. He almost got..I think he almost got raped.”

Chan physically took a step back, like he been slapped: “What? Who?” 

He looked at Seungmin standing there like a lost puppy and still crying: “Where is Felix? Just breath and tell me what you mean?”

“He…Lix is taking a shower. He..I need to get him some clothes.” while saying that Seungmin turned around and started walking to their room, still crying all the while and a confused Chan followed him there. 

“Please tell me you just misspoke? What happened?!” Chan was just standing next to Seungmin who was getting sweats out of the drawer. And Seungmin just shook his head and said: “He needs some fresh clothes and the first aid kit. Where did you put it? Is it in the bathroom or living-room? ” he was rambling and Chan was just too preoccupied to be his best self: “Stop for a fucking minute and answer me?!” he said that a little too loud and the other members in the next room went quiet.

“I didn’t mean to yell.” said Chan while rubbing his neck and looking sheepish: “Just please, tell me.” he was almost begging to know what was going on.

‘’’

Seungmin looked at him properly for the first time and saw how haggard he looked and he tired to not burst into tears this time while saying it: “Felix, he got assaulted while he was out with that so called friend of his. He isn’t hurt too bad as far as I seen. Some scrapes and a cut knee. That’s were he said the blood was all coming from. I guess I tell you after you give me the first aid kit so I can fix him up.”

Chan just stood there looking like he got hit over the head with something. Then he whispered: “Fuck. For fuck sake what the fuck is wrong with the world.” he turned around and went to the living room ignoring all the other members and getting the first aid kit from the cupboards. 

He walked with it to the bathroom door and then just stood there, looking at it like he didn’t know how to use a door anymore. 

Seungmin came to stand next to him with the clothes in hand and said: “Are you going to knock?”

Chan looked at him and then sighed deeply lifting his hand a knocking real quietly. While he did so Changbin showed up munching on a chocolate bar and looking mildly disgusted: “So what have you two been fighting about and why the fuck did we just chase after Lix all over when he just came home by himself apparently?” 

Chan looked tired all of a sudden and said without looking away from the door: “Not now Binnie. We come and talk all together after everything is settled, just go tell the others to gather in like 30 minutes.” 

Chan knocked again slightly stronger and the door opened just a crack with a hand shoved through and making grabby gestures. 

Seungmin handed the clothes over and the door was closed right after. 

‘’’

Chan looked real nervous and fidgeted with his hands. Seungmin was staring at him and getting just into his own head. And then the door opened slightly and just stood ajar. 

They looked at each other and Seungmin moved to get in taking the first aid kit with him off the floor. 

“Hey, how are you feeling? Anything else broken or scraped?” Felix was leaning on the sink and holding himself, arms crossed. His hair was wet and he looked pale. 

Felix’s was looking at his bare feet and there were some burst blisters on them. Seungmin knelt down in-front of him and opened the first aid kit, taking out some disinfectant and wipes. 

Chan slowly walks in and closes the bathroom door. And looks at Lix. He looks really spaced out. Felix looks up that moment looking into Chan’s eyes and Chan just starts crying.

Just burst into tears. Like he hasn’t for a long while. Proper crying. 

Seungmin looks slightly shocked at him and Felix steps closer to him. Reaches out and puts his arms around Chan. The older just pulls Lix closer and buries his face in the crook of the younger’s neck. 

They just stand there with Chan crying his heart out. Felix looks kinda calm to Seungmin who sits on the floor and looks at the two. Lix’s face is calmer now like he is more present. 

As they slowly pulled away from each other Felix looked at Chan’s face and gave him the smallest of smiles: “I’m ok, don’t worry. I be fine. See I’m not even bleeding anymore or anything. Look!” he points at his hands then feet and then pulls up his pant leg to show is wounded knee.

Chan just looks devastated: “You don’t have to be ok. I’m so sorry that happened. I am so sorry Lix. I wish I could undo all of this. I wish I could make everything better. I am so sorry that I wasn’t there, that I didn’t help you.” his tears were flowing down his cheeks while he was saying all of this. He had never apologized to the younger this much and it was not even his fault. 

“Hey, you don’t have to be sorry about this, its not something you could have possibly done anything about. I…I kind feel… I feel so dumb. Why did I ever meet up with them? What was I even thinking…I …I should have not trusted them….I didn’t think that that could like ever happen. I didn’t think it be something that would….”

He didn’t finish his sentence, just stood there holding Chan’s arms in his hands. 

Chan pulled the younger into his arms again and held him even tighter. Maybe even a little too tight. 

Felix just patted Chan’s back and tried to comfort him. Like he was upset that their leader was so upset. 

Chan whispered into the others shoulder: “Your not dumb and none of this is your fault at all.” he calmed his breathing and pulled away again to take the other boys hands and guide him to where Seungmin was sitting on the floor. 

“Let's look at them wounds and then figure out what you would like to tell the others and what we will do next.”

Felix replied in a small voice: “Ok…… Do we have to… tell them tho?” 

Chan waved his hands saying: “We tell them only what you like us to tell them. Its up to you what we say here ok. I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable. And we can always tell them more at a later time if you want to just process or… really its up to you.”

Chan rambled it all really quickly but it was reassuring to Felix that they didn’t have to go out to all the members and tell them all of this again right now….It was hard enough getting it out once. 

Felix nodded and sat down on the floor giving Seungmin his hands: “I like to just tell them that I got bullied and roughed up by them and ran away and got lost. Would that work?”

Seungmin looked at the small cuts and slowly tapped at them with the wipes. Chan sat next to them and nodded along: “Yea I mean that’s fine. Do you want to talk about it yourself or do you even want to be there for it or should I just go tell them myself?” 

“I can say it. I think I can do it. You be there tho?” He looked at their leader with a hopeful expression and Chan said: “Where else would I be…Of course I be right there…I even…” he lifted the younger’s free hand and held it gently: “hold your hand the entire time.” Chan smiled a small smile and Lix nodded.

‘’’

When they exited the bathroom to go meet everyone and get this done with Chan kept his word and held Felix’s hand that had many band-aids on it now, they had all sorts of cute characters on them. One yellow and one pink and one bright blue. 

Bubbly like the boy himself thought Chan. But right now that wasn’t accurate. Felix looked nervous and pale again. More like he was facing a jury instead of his friends and members. 

Chan stroked his thumb over the younger’s hand in a gesture of reassurance and they reached the others and everyone looked at them and they had varying expressions from anger to confusion to concern. 

Chan spoke up: “Felix wanted to tell everyone why he was so late today and then we can all go and get some much needed rest after. And if needed talk more about it tomorrow.”

Everyone looked at Felix just standing there holding Chan’s hand like a child and he felt like they where judging him and seeing him as someone that was babied and who’s behavior was excused by their leader. 

‘’’

He spoke anyway, unsteadily but still: “I went to meet…this guy I knew back in school….And anyway he came with some friends…And they were kinda drinking or already drunk and…..I don’t know….I didn’t know they be that kind of people.” he couched because his mouth was suddenly glued together.

Changbin chimed in with: “So what you where drinking while we all looked around trying to find you?! With Chan panicking and thinking someone ran you over or kidnapped you or some crazy shit!”

He said it aggressively like he was annoyed at the other and it seemed so odd because Felix always turned to Binnie and now it seemed he was upsetting everyone and he didn’t know what to do.

Chan was about to say something when Lix squeaked out: “I’m sorry i was dumb and didn’t know….I never wanted to cause any trouble I’m really sorry.”

Chan put his arm around Felix’s shoulder and said calmly to him: “You do not need to apologies. None of this is your fault and you didn’t cause any trouble. Its ok. Changbin here was just worried about you too that’s why his so angry. ”

Saying that Chan turned his head looking at Changbin with his coldest death glare. 

He rubbed the younger’s shoulder in an encouraging way, waiting for him to go on.

Felix took a deep breath: “They were being mean and inappropriate and I wanted to leave but they wouldn't let me until i took some shots with them….I didn’t want to….But I really wanted to leave so I just did it. And then they were still not letting me go.”

Changbin looked kinda sick now and Hyunjin looked really disgusted. Was him drinking gonna get him in so much trouble, where they gonna tell on him and have him punished or worse thrown out.

Felix didn’t know how he was still able to but he felt wetness on his cheeks once more. And now everyone was seeing how pathetic he was. They probably didn’t want him here anymore. 

“I’m s…I mean I didn’t mean to…They didn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t drunk or anything…They dragged me with them. I wasn’t going with them I swear. And I didn’t….I wasn’t…”

He got cut off by a sudden sob. Damn he didn’t want to be like this they wouldn’t believe him like this. They think worse off him now.

Seungmin was next to him now and Chan’s arm was around his shoulders but he couldn't breath well. Seungmin asked: “ Can I hold you?” 

He nodded in a daze and Seungmin held him like before and started to rock them both in place while standing there in-front of everyone. But he kept making those shh noises and it did actually help.

Everyone was quiet now and no one made a sound. 

The atmosphere was so tense somehow. 

Chan was standing very close and whispering to Lix: “We can stop now. You don’t have to explain yourself. Maybe its best if you rest now ok?” He put his hand on Felix’s lower back and the younger did a full body flinch…

He scrambled out from between both of them and looked kind panicked and scared. Chan just stood there with his hands in the air holding them like he was held at gunpoint. And every one was staring now kinda shocked. 

Before anyone could do anything Changbin yelled kinda loud in the quiet room: “ What the fuck did those assholes do to you? Tell me right now? I’m gonna kill them.” 

Felix kinda sagged to the ground and sat there looking at them like a lost puppy. 

“They…” he looked down then and stared at the floor: “They touched me. And i didn’t want that. I told them i didn’t want that. I did try to get out of there. I kicked and I screamed and I punched one of them. I swear I didn’t want any of that. They kept calling me pretty and saying disgusting things…..I just ran….I ran for so long.”

There was a collective loud noise everyone was making and a few fuck and hell no and damns thrown out there. 

This time it was Hyunjin who spoke up: “What did they do? Are you hurt?” he step closer to Felix to look him over it seemed and seeing the band aids now made more sense. 

Seungmin pulled Hyunjin’s hand back when he was reaching for Lix. And they looked at each other Seungmin trying to communicate with his eyes. 

They both got up and Chan turned to the others who all sat in different corners, Han holding Minho’s hand and Innie all by himself looking confused and Changbin looking angry. 

“Lets talk later. I think its best if Felix goes to bed now, ok?” Chan said and looked at Felix, not getting closer. So the younger got up and just started walking to his room.

‘’’

Seungmin followed Lix and the rest just stood there and then Felix heard how Changbin yelled something and throw something it seems. Why was he so angry he wondered as Seungmin closed the door and Felix fell onto his bed. 

How the fuck had this become his life. He was a completely different person this morning it seems. How was that possible that people became someone else in just one day. 

Seungmin pulled the blanket out from under him and covered him with it. He sat on the bed and said: “I can just sit here til you sleep or if you want we can cuddle? Would you like me to hold you?”

Felix looked up from his pillow and rolled towards the wall to make room lifting the blanket. 

They snuggled close to each other and it felt like having air again. Like breathing was a little easier and the thoughts and images in Lix’s head didn’t press in as hard anymore. 

He suddenly felt how achy he was all over and how his muscles hurt and his feet ached and his knee had that pulsing feeling in it. He was tired to the bone. 

And he closed his eyes letting the world around him disappear.


End file.
